There’s a specific kind of silence that happens after you say yes to something and immediately realize you may have oversold your qualifications.
You close your laptop.
You stare at the wall.
And eventually:
“What the hell did I just agree to?”
This was around 2004.
I was still in my early freelancing days, picking up work wherever I could find it and learning a whole lot of shit as I went.
Then a client asked if I had experience with eBay Stores.
Technically?
Yes.
Actually?
Well...
I Wasn't Completely Lying
I'd used eBay before.
I'd sold earrings.
I'd helped friends set up their stores.
I knew how to log in, create listings, upload pictures, write descriptions, and figure my way around.
So when this client asked if I could help with their eBay Store, I wasn't starting from zero.
But there was one tiny problem.
Selling some earrings and helping your friends fuck around on eBay is very different from managing an e-commerce store for an actual business.
I knew eBay.
I did not know e-commerce.
There is a difference.
Unfortunately, I discovered that difference after I said yes.
Welcome to My eBay Store Era
Suddenly, this wasn't:
Upload picture.
Write description.
Post listing.
Done.
This was a business.
Products needed to make sense.
Listings needed to make sense.
Categories needed to make sense.
Pricing mattered.
Shipping mattered.
How everything looked to an actual customer mattered.
And I quickly realized that my previous eBay experience had taught me how to use the platform.
It had not taught me how to use the platform strategically for somebody else's business.
So I did what early-career Monica did best.
I figured that shit out.
Google University Was Open
This was 2004.
There wasn't an endless supply of creators making three-minute tutorials about every possible problem.
There wasn't TikTok.
There wasn't a business coach popping up every six seconds to tell me I needed their framework.
I had Google.
Forums.
Help pages.
Whatever tutorials I could find.
Trial.
Error.
And an unreasonable amount of determination.
I researched.
I tested.
I changed things.
I realized I had done something wrong.
I changed it again.
Then I researched some more.
And because I'd already told the client I could do it, I was determined that they were never going to know how much chaos was happening behind the scenes.
The Client Got an eBay Store
And eventually?
It worked.
The store came together.
The listings were there.
Everything functioned the way it needed to function.
The client was happy.
From their perspective, I'd done exactly what I said I could do.
And technically, I had.
But behind the scenes?
Baby, I was tired.
I'd spent way more time on that project than I anticipated.
I was learning while delivering.
Troubleshooting while delivering.
Second-guessing myself while delivering.
And because I didn't understand the difference between doing the work and learning how to do the work, guess who absorbed all those extra hours?
Me.
For free.
Cute.
Knowing the Platform Isn't the Same as Knowing the Business
That experience taught me something I've carried throughout my career.
Knowing how to use a tool does not automatically make you an expert in what a business needs that tool to accomplish.
I knew how to use eBay.
But optimizing an eBay Store for an actual business required a different level of thinking.
That's true with almost every platform.
You can know how to post on LinkedIn without knowing how to build a personal brand.
You can know how to send an email without knowing email marketing.
You can know Canva without being a designer.
You can know how to schedule a meeting without understanding executive operations.
The buttons are usually the easy part.
Understanding why you're pushing them?
That's where the value starts showing up.
Learning Is Still Work
Here's the other lesson I learned much later.
All those hours I spent researching?
Work.
All that troubleshooting?
Work.
The time it took me to go from “I've used eBay before” to “I understand what this business actually needs”?
Work.
Back then, I didn't think like that.
I thought the client was paying me for the finished product.
Everything I had to do to become capable of producing that finished product felt like my problem.
So I ate the hours.
Today?
Absolutely not.
If I'm taking on something that requires additional research, training, or technical learning, that's part of the conversation.
Because curiosity is free.
My time isn't.
I Don't Have to Pretend Anymore
There was another reason I said yes so quickly back then.
I wanted to prove I could do it.
I was still building my confidence.
Still building my client roster.
Still figuring out what kind of freelancer I wanted to become.
Saying:
“I don't know how to do that.”
felt dangerous.
What if they picked somebody else?
What if they thought I wasn't good enough?
What if saying no meant losing money?
So I said yes.
Then I'd disappear into the internet and figure out how the hell I was going to make my yes true.
Resourceful?
Absolutely.
Sustainable?
Not always.
My Yes Has Different Requirements Now
I still believe in taking work that stretches you.
Some of the best skills I've developed came from somebody asking:
“Can you do this?”
And me thinking:
I can probably figure it out.
There's nothing wrong with that.
The difference is that now I'm honest about where I'm starting.
I've worked with something similar.
I've used the platform personally.
I understand the basics, but I'll need time to learn the business application.
Those are perfectly professional answers.
You don't have to walk into every room pretending you've already mastered everything inside it.
Sometimes your experience gets you through the door.
Your ability to learn keeps you there.
Just Because You Can Pull It Off...
Doesn't mean you should automatically say yes.
That's probably the biggest lesson.
Every yes costs something.
Time.
Energy.
Attention.
Sometimes sleep.
Sometimes money.
Sometimes several hours of your life buried inside an eBay help forum wondering how selling a few pairs of earrings somehow qualified you for this shit.
So yes, stretch yourself.
Learn.
Experiment.
Take the opportunity that scares you a little.
But know the difference between stretching and breaking.
And if there's a learning curve?
Price accordingly.
Because younger Monica learned one hell of a lesson from that eBay Store.
Sometimes knowing just enough to say yes is exactly how you learn what your yes actually costs.
CURRENT MOOD
“Work It” by Missy Elliott.
Because sometimes you don't know exactly what the hell you're doing.
You flip it.
Reverse it.
Google it.
Figure it out.
And somehow make the damn thing work.
That was basically my entire early freelancing career.
Listen to “Work It” on YouTube
PEAK OF THE WEEK
Remembering that I don't have to prove my value by pretending I already know everything.
Experience has made it much easier to say:
“I haven't done that before.”
Or:
“I can do it, but there's going to be a learning curve.”
And then price the work accordingly.
Twenty-something-year-old Monica would have been terrified to say that.
Current Monica?
She's sending the quote.
#IKnewEnoughToBeDangerous
XXX,
M💋
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